


Resilire

by fated_desires



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Voldemort Wins, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Flashbacks, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Torture, Lost Love, Memory Alteration, Pining, Romance, prisoner
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:53:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28794240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fated_desires/pseuds/fated_desires
Summary: In the wake of Voldemort's victory at The Battle of Hogwarts, Pansy finds herself separated from Theo. He never arrived at the safe-house as was planned and no danger would have prevented her from going after him. She planned to infiltrate the Death-Eaters and bring him back with her, but when Theo, who unbeknownst to her has had all memories of their love and friendship stripped away, turns her in as a traitor, she finds herself a prisoner at the Nott estate.Thanks to a newly modified version of the Dark Mark, all he knows is his loyalty to the Dark Lord. Forced to be a prisoner of the man she loves, her plan to save him may prove more challenging, but Pansy Parkinson was never one to back down from a challenge. No matter what it took, she was determined to bring him back to himself. Dark Mark be damned, she would save him, no matter what it cost her.
Relationships: Astoria Greengrass/Luna Lovegood, Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger, Thansy - Relationship, Theodore Nott/Pansy Parkinson, dramione
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story! I hope you all like it.
> 
> This is a Theo/Pansy fic and will predominantly follow their story. Other relationships will be referenced to a lesser extent. I am considering writing a Hermione/Draco POV of this story sometime in the future. Let me know if that is something you would be interested in seeing! 
> 
> No infringement intended. All credit for the Harry Potter universe belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**3 May, 1998**

The ringing in her ears was overpowering, debilitating to her other senses when combined with the intense brightness of the dawn light. A harsh juxtaposition from the dark, damp, and desolate landscape they had just fled. The intense ringing, the thrum of her pulse so loud in her ears, and the guttural pressure of the air that her ragged breaths were pushing into her lungs, were the only reminders that she was still alive. That she was still standing.

"Pansy!" A voice called to her, a faint echo from beyond the high pitched frequency that was overtaking her sense of hearing.

"Pansy!" It called again and she forced her eyes open, realizing now that she had pinched them closed in order to avoid the sun's rays that had been barrelling at her.

After adjusting to the brightly lit scene before her, she could make out the figure emerging from the tall, flowing, grass of the hill they had landed in. Astoria. It was Astoria calling to her from 20 meters away. She was knelt down in the overgrown grass hunched over, holding something, clutching at it desperately in her arms, the blood and tears on her face visible even from this distance.

Pansy pressed forward through the grass walking towards her and she realized it wasn't something that Astoria was holding at all, it was someone. Daphne. Pansy felt her ribs tighten in her chest, as an overwhelming feeling of fear washed over her, the ringing in her ears pushing into the past as sound rushed back to her.

She reached Astoria and knelt on the other side of Daphne. She couldn't look at Astoria's face, couldn't bear to see the reality of her fear. She needed to maintain her calm. She gazed down across Daphne's unconscious body, taking in the dangerous amount of blood loss. She had a gaping wound that ran diagonally across her entire body, spanning from her left shoulder across her chest and abdomen and down on her thigh ending just above her right knee, and it was still bleeding. She took her left wrist in her hand searching for a pulse and found one that barely registered.

She pulled out her wand from her pocket, grateful to have something to grip tightly to help lessen the shaking in her hands. She took a deep rattling breath to center herself, and ran a diagnostic over Daphne's body. Large red circles pulsed rapidly across the display, showing she'd suffered a dangerous amount of blood loss, as well as three broken ribs on her left side and a concerning head contusion that would only worsen if her wound wasn't sealed and her lost blood replenished quickly.

"How long has she been unconscious?" she asked, turning her gaze upwards to meet Astoria's eyes. Her auburn-blonde hair was now a rust brown with dried blood and ash, and her blue eyes blood-shot and swollen.

"Since we landed, she-she was speaking before, but a spell must've hit her before we activated the portkey, there was a-a flash of purple light and when we-when we landed she was out cold...I-Pans, I can't lose her I can't...I-" she breathed out, losing her composure as she looked back down to her sister's palling face, knuckles white from gripping her right hand tightly between hers.

"We will not lose her, Astoria. I won't allow it." Pansy declared, with such ferocity that she herself believed it. She had trained for this, she was prepared, and she would not allow her to die. Pansy Parkinson does not fail and she never betrays her word.

If Daphne was going to survive this, she would have to work quickly. She reached for her necklace removing it from around her neck.

"Engorgio," she breathed, and watched as the charmed chest pendant reverted back to its original size.

The silver-crested chest was no larger than a shoe box to the average onlooker, but she had placed an undetectable extension charm on it a year ago, and stocked it with anything they would need to survive. She would reduce it to the size of a knut, and wear it as a pendant on a silver cord around her neck at all times. She was always prepared for any situation, she had to be, she had made sure to be. It had been for _him,_ and then it was for _them_ , for all of them.

She brushed away the thoughts that were fighting for center-stage in her mind, pushing them into the wardrobe at the far corner of her mind that she had meticulously crafted to keep her mind clear and focused. She always had to be focused.

She placed the chest next to her and opened the lid, scanning the various potions and supplies she had placed on the top-most compartment, until she landed on what she needed. Essence of dittany and blood replenishing potion.

She worked quickly, and precisely, spreading the essence of dittany generously across the wound. It was deep and would take several passes, and necessitated a star grass salve be spread over it after the dittany had sufficiently closed the wound. That was the first priority. Stopping the bleeding before administering the blood replenishing potion.

It took four passes and a significant amount of her dittany supply to seal the wound. She applied the salve and placed a protective barrier charm overtop. She administered two blood replenishing potions and a dreamless sleep potion to ensure Daphne didn't wake until she had time to properly tend to all of her damage. Her vitals were stable and she exhaled the breath she had been holding.

"She's stable, Astoria." she said looking up at her for the first time in the last hour and witnessing the sigh of relief that left her lips, color already starting to return to her pale, blood smeared face.

"Thank you, Pans." Astoria said, reaching out to hold her hands giving them a squeeze of gratitude.

Her broken ribs would still need to be removed and skele-gro would have to be administered for them to heal properly. Daphne would be bed ridden for at least the next week and they can't risk moving her once her ribs are removed. They needed to move her into the safe house before she could tend to them.

Once she rechecked the diagnostics several times, scanning for any missed injuries or faltering vitals, she determined that Daphne was safe to move. She bent over and opened the chest to replace the vials of potion and healing agents she had removed. With an _accio_ , she conjured an intricate, worn brass key from one of the many pockets in the depths of the chest.

She stood, staggering from the sudden rush of blood returning to her legs after having knelt for so long, and quickly regained her bearings. She took a look around at her surroundings, seeking out the large triangular stone whose structure she had memorized. She placed a hand over her eyes, shielding the sun and spotted it, about 40 meters away to their east at the top of another sloping hill.

"We have to move her inside," she said, turning her gaze back to Astoria, "it's not safe to stay out here, we've already been outside far too long."

Astoria nodded her head and rose from her kneeled position next to her sister's right side, gingerly placing her arm back down on the grass.

"Levicorpus," she said, and her sister's body rose a meter above the ground. She kept her wand and her eyes trained on her, walking a few paces behind, moving steadily to ensure her sister remained securely suspended in the air until she could lay her down on a bed in the safe house.

Pansy turned forward towards the stone and started her ascent up the sloping hill. It was steeper than she had anticipated, and the muscles of her weakened body protested with the strain of climbing up the hill. She paused when she was nearly halfway to the stone to look back at Astoria.

"Do you need to switch off?" she asked, knowing she must be exhausted from the physical exertion of climbing the hill as well as the mental exertion of keeping her focus on levitating her sister.

"No," she replied stoically, never disengaging her eyes from her sister, "I have her."

Pansy nodded and continued the rest of the way up the hill. She paused again at the front of the stone, catching her breath and Astoria followed soon after. Pansy reached under the skirt of her robes to pull the short goblin-made blade from the sheath that was wrapped around her upper right thigh. She pressed the blade into her palm and hissed as the blood dripped down her hand and fingers. She placed her hand on the stone smearing her blood over the runes that were engraved on the cool, rough surface of it.

The runes glowed, a bright burnt orange, and the wards shielding the property from sight wavered like a ripple across a still body of water, as the loud echo of wrought-metal gates opening resounded around them.

She re-sheathed her blade and reached her right hand through the rippling barrier and saw it disappear on the other end. She pulled out of the barrier and turned to link hands with Daphne and Astoria and guide them through the barrier. A gasp escaped her lips as the cool sensation of the barrier passed over her skin and she was made aware, for the first time, of the various raw cuts she had scattered across her body.

She marched forward through the tall gates and onto the cobblestone path leading up to the large cottage-style residence. The flagstone exterior of the cottage was overgrown with ivy and the air smelled of morning dew on the wild meadow grass. As she neared the tall arch-shaped entrance, she was overwhelmed with nostalgia. She had spent many weeks in the summers of her childhood here visiting her grandmother. Upon her grandmother's passing back when Pansy was in her 5th year at Hogwarts, her grandmother had willed the residence to her.

The residence, she later learned, had been placed under the protection of a fidelius charm and she was made the secret keeper upon her grandmother's death. Her grandmother was a wise woman, a gifted legilimens and devinator. It is not unlikely that she knew her granddaughter would one day require a location where no one else could find her unless she herself revealed it to them.

She pulled the key from her pocket and placed it into the intricate keyhole above the brass door-knob, the wood creaking after many years of unuse, as the door gave way.

She entered into the foyer of the cottage and a "pop!" revealed a house-elf in a purple sweater who had tended to her when she was a child.

"Miss has returned! And Miss has brought Friends! Libpy has been waiting most patiently to see Mistress Pansy again!" Libpy rushed to hug Pansy's leg.

She bent down and returned the hug. "Libpy, it's good to see you too, will you see to it that there's lunch made? My friends and I have had a long and tiring journey."

"Yes Miss! Libpy will tell Todrey and Nibkey to get started on a fine meal straight away!"

With another "pop!" she vanished from the foyer.

"There are several bedrooms upstairs, right up this way" Pansy said, turning to Astoria and nodding her head in the direction of the large wooden staircase at the end of the hall, "we need to lay her down so I can repair her fractured ribs."

Astoria followed behind her, as Pansy took the stairs two at a time. She opened the door to the first bedroom at the top of the stairs, and moved towards the large four-poster bed on the left side of the room. Astoria moved Daphne onto the center of the bed and took a seat on the edge of the bed at her sister's right side. Pansy removed her necklace again and enlarged the chest placing it on the bedside table to the left of the four-poster.

She cast a diagnostic on Daphne and found she was still stable. It would be safe for her to proceed with removing and regrowing her ribs.

"Astoria, let me check you for any injuries and then please go downstairs and grab some food and pick any bedroom you like and get some rest, Daphne is doing very well there's no need for you to stay here." She said as she moved to the other side of the bed to cast the diagnostic on Astoria.

"I want to be here, by her side when she wakes up," Astoria replied, her voice strained and her eyes drooping,

The diagnostic revealed no injuries, all the blood on her had been from Daphne.

"You don't have any injuries," Pansy replied, "Daphne's going to be asleep for at least the next 24 hours, once I heal her ribs I'm going to administer another dose of dreamless sleep so that she can fully heal without any complications, so you go. Go wash up, eat something, and catch at least a few hours of rest Astoria, Daphne is going to be alright, no one can harm us here, we're safe."

Begrudgingly Astoria agreed with her direction, "There are spare clothes in the wardrobes of each room," Pansy added as Astoria was making her way out.

"Thank you Pansy," Astoria said as she closed the bedroom door behind her.

Once she had left, Pansy set to removing the tattered clothing off of Daphne and repairing her ribs. After an hour she had successfully removed all three fractured ribs and given Daphne skele-gro and the second dose of dreamless sleep. She cast a scourgify to clean off the caked blood and dirt from Daphne's body and spelled her into a comfortable set of clean clothes. She called for Libpy and asked her to keep an eye on Daphne while she went and freshened up herself.

The exhaustion hit Pansy immediately as she entered the bedroom at the end of the hall and closed the door behind her. She leaned down the frame of the door and brought her arms around her knees. Her worrisome thoughts, that she had pushed back with her occlumency were pushing to the forefront of her mind again, and she cast a silencing spell before she let her walls fall and let her emotions overtake her.

Theo and Blaise had told her they would be right behind her. It wasn't safe for Astoria to remain at the battle, and she was the only person who could get her to safety. They had planned for this, but they had planned to leave together, all of them. He had sworn to her that he would be back, had wrapped his hands around her bracelet, the matching bracelet he has, and assured her that he would return to her. The bracelets were charmed to heat when the other was activated. He would activate his bracelet when he had taken his portkey and was waiting on the sloping hills near the stone that guarded the property, and she would go retrieve them, retrieve him and bring him to the shelter only she could provide.

It had been nearly three hours since they left Hogwarts and he had yet to activate his bracelet, and her heart clenched further in fear with every moment that passed without a sign that he was okay. She felt her lids droop and her breath slow as the exhaustion and the stress overtook her. She fell asleep on the floor by her door, waiting for the heat of her bracelet to wake her. Waiting for him to return to her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Friday, 3 April 1998**

It was just after dinner and they had all left the great hall and made their way back to the Slytherin dormitories. They were now seated in the common area just in front of the fireplace. Pansy was sitting on Theo's lap in one of the wing-backed arm chairs, his thumb tracing soothing circles across her ribs, his arm wrapped across her back, holding onto her tightly.

Draco was seated in the arm-chair adjacent to them, his elbows on his knees and his head resting on his clasped hands. Opposite him on the black leather sofa sat Blaise with Daphne and Astoria next to him. As she took in the appearance of each one of her friends, there was no hiding the fear they all felt in this moment.

"He actually said this?" Blaise questioned in disbelief, rising from his position on the sofa and crossing the marble coffee table to come rest one hand on the mantle of the fireplace. He turned his gaze to roaring orange flames, "He said he expects all pure-blood offspring to take up the dark mark?"

Pansy shivered at hearing this news for the second time tonight. She could have anticipated this being a possibility, Voldemort wanted to ensure that his followers were loyal, and what better way than to initiate the children of his followers into the fold.

"Upon his 'imminent victory' he plans to initiate us all," Draco confirmed, moving his head into his hands and sighing, "and there's more."

"More?" Daphne let out in exasperation, "what more could he possibly want from us?! As if branding us with the dark mark as though we are nothing more than cattle isn't abhorrent enough!"

Astoria reached over and took her sister's shaking hand in hers. Theo's hand went stiff for a moment at Pansy's side, and moved to bring her that much closer to his chest, his nerves evident at the infinitesimal faltering of his embrace. Draco rose from his seat in the arm-chair, he seemed to look around and ensure they were well and truly alone in the common room before he went to stand across from Blaise on the opposite end of the fireplace.

"It's not a matter of what he plans to do to us, it's what he expects we do for him," Draco elaborated, turning from the fireplace to look once more at his frightened friends.

"Upon his victory he anticipates of course, that the members of The Order will not come freely to his side, the...mudbloods..." his voice broke on the word he had discontinued using years ago, "are of little consequence to him, they will be disposed of without a second thought, but the purebloods, the blood-traitors...he expects them to convert to his side."

He has some sort of plan in place to convert them, I don't have any details, he has only shared his methods with his most trusted death-eaters and my father is still out of his favor after I failed in my...mission. I only know what I overheard Bellatrix tell my mother. My guess is he has some sort of potion in the works that will turn even the most hateful adversary into a loyal and obedient follower, and I can only imagine what he will have them do to prove their loyalties."

Everyone seemed to hold their breath in the moment after Draco finished informing them of his latest discoveries.

"Then we will simply have to ensure that he does not win this war," Pansy stated, speaking up for the first time since they had moved their conversation to the common room, "I think it's time that we inform Potter of our alliances, I know that he will be wary at first, he has no reason to trust us and we have shown him no signs that we are not loyal followers of the Dark Lord but if we somehow get the message to him, he could have help from people on the inside and we can bring an end to this that much sooner."

There was a chuckle from her right and Pansy turned to see Blaise bringing his hand to cover his mouth and force down the laugh. She glared at him and rose from her position on Theo's lap.

"And just what is it you find so amusing, Zabini?" she demanded.

She knew it was a far-fetched idea, but they were out of options. They couldn't just sit and watch from the sidelines while everyone else fought for Potter to win this war. They had to do something. They had to retaliate.

"After all this time Parkinson, you're still a girl caught up in fantasy," Blaise said, not removing his gaze from the flames, "Potter will never accept our help, and neither will any member of his precious Order, even if we took veritaserum they would come up with something to discredit our intentions."

Pansy's hands were fisted at her sides, her nails digging into the soft flesh of her palms.

"Then just what do you propose we do? Shall we just sit idly by while our future is determined for us by that _monster_?" she laughed, hollow and unamused, "I will not be a sitting duck to this world the Dark Lord wants to build. We have to do something! The Order is losing! That much is apparent, their numbers are fewer with each passing day, they will see reason. They must."

"Pansy, no one disagrees with what you're saying but we have no in with them, even if there was someone here at Hogwarts able to relay a message to the Order we have no way of knowing who they are, and we can't very well go exposing ourselves as defected followers of the Dark Lord to just anyone." Draco sighed.

"What about Lovegood? She knows you Draco. She knows you're not a true Death Eater, and she's a good friend of Potters, surely she would help us get in contact with someone from the order, point us in the right direction," Pansy mused, desperate for a solution to their ever darkening situation.

"It's...a possibility," he concluded, his mouth a tight line, "But I won't allow her to risk her life to help us. Enough harm has come to her and I promised her when she became a prisoner at the manor that I would ensure her safety and I will do nothing to jeopardize her life any further. If helping us poses any risk to her..."

"We'll make sure it doesn't!" Pansy declared, "I can come over and place shields around her mind if necessary to prevent anyone from seeing any memories she has of our conversations, with her permission of course."

"Don't get too carried away just yet, we don't even know if Luna knows of any means of contacting the Order, or if she even knows where they are, she's been at the manor for months now," Draco reminded.

"This is the first hope we've had for an in to that blasted Order since that bastard snake rose to power Malfoy, let her have it," Theo said, "Let us have it, we have seen enough doom and gloom it's about time for a change of luck wouldn't you say?"

"I'll go to the manor this weekend, my father is away on business for the Dark Lord, I'll be able to speak freely with Luna and see if she knows anything, and we can go from there," Draco said, in as close to an acknowledgement of Theo's words as they were going to get out of him.

"Here! Here!" Blaise chimed, grabbing a bottle of fire whiskey from the concealed cabinet behind the portrait of Salazar above the fireplace, "I say drinks are in order to celebrate our impending soldier-dom!"

He waved his wand and 6 drinking glasses appeared and he started filling them before anyone could get a word in otherwise. Pansy knew there was much left to be discussed but one look at her friends and she could see that they needed a distraction from their current predicament. Any further plans would have to wait until the morning, and she had to admit she needed a drink right too. Theo grabbed two glasses off the coffee table and held one out to her. She took it from him and he held his glass up to her.

"To that incredible mind of yours love, wherever would we be without it?" Theo toasted, giving her his signature smirk that always brought a smile to her face.

They clinked their glasses, took a sip of their drinks and he pulled her into him for a soft kiss. As their mouths connected, she could feel the tension in his body from the unspoken worries that were undoubtedly flickering across his mind. She wished she could soothe them, wished she could guarantee to him, to all of them, that they would succeed in stopping the tyranny of the Dark Lord, but she was in no position to make such promises.

So she kissed him. She kissed him, cherishing the feeling of safety and warmth that he brought her. Their feelings for each other only further igniting their desire for a better outcome of their futures.

* * *

**Monday, 6 April 1998**

"Have you seen Draco? He should have returned back from the manor by now with news," Pansy said to Theo as they made their way out of the Great Hall, heading back to the dormitories to gather their things for the potions class they both had in an hour.

"I haven't," Theo admitted, "He didn't come back last night, his bed was still made this morning, hopefully he is back by the time we get to the dorms, unless something kept him at home..."

He trailed off at the mention of Draco encountering a problem that prevented him from returning on time and Pansy shivered at the thought of Draco being caught conspiring with Luna. He'd left Friday evening and they'd expected him back last night. He had a way with his words and would surely be able to get out of any implicating situation but the conversation he and Luna needed to have could've been far too incriminating for even someone of his talents to excuse.

They walked the rest of the way back to the Slytherin dormitory in silence, holding hands and the entire way Pansy was silently praying that their friend hadn't been caught carrying out a plan that she had devised.

They crossed paths with Neville Longbottom just as they were nearing the stairs to the dungeons and Pansy noticed he was sporting a rather nasty looking black eye and a busted lip. It was rare these days to see students without injury, the Carrows were cruel and vindictive and didn't attempt to hide the vendetta they had against anyone deemed a friend of Potter's.

"Longbottom!" Pansy found herself calling out before he could walk past them.

She knew it was probably a bad idea but she felt she should attempt to get on good terms with him, after all he was in Potter's circle, he might be able to help them connect with The Order if Luna couldn't.

"What? Come to gloat at the state of my face, Parkinson?" he retorted, glaring daggers at her, daring her to make a comment.

"No I-," Pansy stuttered, she released Theo's hand and took a step towards Neville.

She could feel Theo tense beside her when she let go of his hand, and could feel his eyes follow her as she walked away towards the Gryffindor that had just taunted her.

"That looks like a nasty bruise, it must hurt something awful, I can heal it for you if you like, I'm quite good with healing charms," she offered, looking hopefully into his hazel eyes.

"What are you playing at Parkinson?" he questioned, "you've never given a damn about me being in pain before, I seem to recall a few instances in the past where you've inflicted it on me yourself."

Pansy flinched at his harsh words. She had been cruel in her earlier years, not above hexing Gryffindors whom she had loathed because of their house rivalry, and Neville had been an easy target before the war had hardened him.

"I know you have no reason to trust me Neville, but you don't deserve what the Carrows are doing to you, no one does," she said stepping a bit closer and reaching into her pocket for her wand.

He looked at her skeptically but didn't make any attempt to walk away. She brought her wand up to his face and cast a diagnostic to see if there was any further damage that might need attention than a simple _decontusus_.

She gasped as the screen in front of her lit up with a large red circle indicating significant internal trauma to the abdomen.

"Neville...you're bleeding internally in your abdomen," she stated alarmingly, she inspected the diagnostic further and could see he had two broken ribs as well as a large contusion to his lower abdomen, "you have broken ribs and by the looks of this-significant bruising in your abdomen. Why haven't you gone to see Madame Pomphrey?"

He laughed and shook his head, "You're bloody deluded if you think the Carrows would let anyone get their wounds tended after detention, and when'd you learn to cast diagnostic spells, wouldn't have pegged you for an aspiring healer."

His harsh tone brought her racing mind back to reality. She waved away the diagnostic and looked seriously at the damaged boy standing before her.

"I've been teaching myself since after fourth year," she answered honestly, "After what happened during the tournament, and the rumours of the Dark Lord's return I wanted to be prepared for anything."

"Blimey I'd almost believe you had a conscience," Neville muttered in disbelief.

It was her turn to laugh now, "Yes, well I do have people I care about believe it or not," she chuckled, "Neville where are you headed? Come with me to the Slytherin dormitories I'll see to it that your wounds are tended to and I can place a glamour on you so the Carrows are none the wiser."

Neville let out a breath in shock, his eyes widening at her words.

"Who are you and what have you done with Pansy Parkinson...?" he said, his voice barely above a whisper, "I'm tempted to take you up on your offer, my chest hurts like a bitch every time I breathe but I'd feel like a down-right arse to have myself healed when there's young ones in worse shape than me. No. It's quite alright-I'll manage."

He turned to walk away but Pansy grabbed his arm before he had the chance.

"Let me heal you and then you can tell the others to come see me as well. I meant what I said Longbottom, no one deserves to suffer through that much pain, and I'm not taking no for an answer. I'm not above stunning you and levitating you to the dorms myself."

"Alright woman, no need for threats, bloody-hell Nott what's gotten into this one?" He said shaking his head and walking towards Theo.

"Nothing that hasn't been there all along," Theo said, locking eyes with Pansy and giving her a soft smile.

He had been the one to encourage her when she had brought up wanting to learn healing. Draco had teased her for turning into a Hufflepuff and letting her humanity show, but Theo saw nothing wrong with wanting to be able to protect the ones she cares about.

"Alright then Slytherins, lead the way," Neville encouraged gesturing to the stairs just behind Theo, "Can't say I haven't always had the desire to take a gander at your dorms, is it true you've got real human skulls in there and a whole dragon skeleton lining the common room?"

Theo and Pansy laughed. They'd heard many rumours of what the other houses thought the Slytherin dorms looked like, and them being in the dungeons did nothing but leave cause for even further exaggeration.

"No, Longbottom, I'm sorry to disappoint but we've got nothing of the sort," Pansy said with a smile.

"Aw come on Pans you could've at least played it for a while longer, you've crushed the poor blokes dreams in one fell swoop!" Theo teased.

Neville laughed and Pansy and Theo joined in. Pansy couldn't help but wonder at what the passersby must be making of the sight of the three of them. If her younger self could see her now she wouldn't recognize herself. Pansy couldn't help but feel a sense of pride for the person she was now.

Her father had raised her to be a prideful Slytherin, had taught her to look down on everyone outside of her house, and warned her not to consort with blood traitors or mudbloods. It had taken her a long time to realize how deluded her perception of the world was as a result of her fathers teachings and she was never more proud to disobey her father.

"Alright, Longbottom, brace yourself for the skeletal remains," Pansy chimed as she walked up to the wall and whispered the password.

Theo stepped through first and she grabbed Neville's hand guiding him through the passageway.

"Bloody hell, you guys just leave bottles of fire-whiskey out in the common room like this?" Neville said in amazement as he lifted up a half-drunk bottle from the coffee table, "I've gotta come around here more often."

Pansy laughed and started up to her room to grab her chest with healing potions, she was sure Neville's abdominal wound was too large for a simple charm and would need a bruise removal paste.

"I'm just gonna head up and grab some healing potions from my room, I'll be back in just a minute," she said before starting up the stairs.

"Help yourself Longbottom, make yourself at home, it looks like we're gonna be here a while," she heard Theo say, followed by the sound of him leaping onto the sofa.

When she came back down Neville and Theo both had a glass of firewhiskey in hand and Neville was marvelling at the windows illuminating the black lake.

"A little early for drinking isn't it?" Pansy stated as she set her potions down on the coffee table in front of Theo.

"Never too early to have a drink during times of war, love," Theo drawled, proceeding to smack her bottom that was facing him as she was arranging her potions.

"Theodore!" she scolded, but he had already put his drink down and was grabbing her by the waste and putting her on his lap.

He brought his mouth to her ear and whispered, "You know how I feel about that arse of yours Parkinson, you can't go flaunting it in front of me like that and expect me to behave."

He placed a kiss on her neck and she laughed as she pushed his arms away to stand back up.

"You're absolutely deplorable," she said, shaking her head and smiling at him.

"Ah, but that's what you love most about me," he smirked before picking his glass back up and taking another sip.

"Alright Longbottom come have a seat here on this arm-chair and let's assess the damage," Pansy said walking over to the armchair and removing a pillow so he could sit more comfortably.

"If you would've told me even yesterday that I'd be sitting in the Slytherin common room this morning with Pansy bloody Parkinson working her magic to heal me, I would've called you crazy," he said as he took a seat.

"I'll try not to be insulted with that statement," Pansy said with a laugh, "I'm gonna need you to remove your shirt."

"And I'm stripping in front of Pansy Parkinson now? Oh if my younger self could see me now," he said with a laugh.

"Hey don't get any ideas Longbottom, this is purely clinical," Theo remarked, "eyes forward Parkinson I won't have you checking out another man's goods!"

A blush fell across Neville's face as he removed his shirt and Pansy suppressed a giggle.

"Keep your commentary to yourself Nott, I'm a working witch here," Pansy said as she proceeded to cast the diagnostic on Neville again.

Theo seemed to have gotten the message and sat silently back as she went to work on Neville's wounds. She gave him a pain relief potion and then started on the injuries to his face-first healing his split lip and then his bruised eye before she started on the bruising on his abdomen. She rubbed the bruise healing paste generously over the area and once it was significantly healed she cast the bruise healing charm and all traces of a bruise were erased.

She told him that without removing his ribs and regrowing them the healing process would take far longer, but agreed that he couldn't be bed ridden while his bones regrew or it would draw too much attention to him, so she opted for casting a _Brackium Emendo_ and a bandaging charm that would reduce the healing time to a week.

She glanced over the diagnostic once more to make sure she hadn't missed any other injuries and when everything was clear she instructed him to put his shirt back on.

"Alright, everything's healed and I've set your ribs in the bandage, I'd make sure to keep off the Carrows bad side until those ribs have healed. That's at least a week," She instructed as she recapped her potions, "how do you feel?"

"Bloody brilliant," Neville said with a wide grin, "I'd kiss you if your bloke wasn't giving me the side eye, I haven't been pain-free since the school year started. You've a real talent for healing Parkinson, I'm right impressed."

"What's this I hear about a kiss?" Theo inquired, rising from his spot on the sofa and bringing his arms possessively around Pansy's waist, "if it's a kiss you want, Longbottom, I'd be more than happy to oblige you with my fist-but my witch is off limits."

Pansy didn't have to look back at him to know he was scowling at Neville.

"Come now Theo, I just spent all this time healing the boy, you wouldn't have me start all over now would you?," she teased, turning her head to the side and giving Theo a kiss on the cheek. Theo smirked at her for having called Longbottom a boy.

"You two are a right-pair you know that?" Neville said with a laugh as he rose from his seat on the armchair.

Pansy glanced at the clock resting on the mantle of the fireplace and saw they had 10 minutes to get to potions.

"Theo could you run up and grab our things for class, I've got to glamour Neville and then we have to head out to potions or we'll be late," she said moving out of his embrace and reaching for her wand she had set on the table beside her vials. She picked up the container of bruise paste and pushed it into Theo's hands, "and just put this in the chest beside my bed please."

"You're lucky you're cute," Theo groaned, as he made for the stairs, "wouldn't let anyone else order me around like this."

Pansy laughed and set to glamouring Neville's face.

"Alright, you look bloody horrendous again, just how the Carrows like it," she said as she finished the final glamour over his eye.

"Thank you Pansy, truly," Neville said, setting his hazel eyes on her amber ones, "I owe you one."

"Dropping the formalities already are we? After just one healing session? You flatter me Longbottom," she said with a smirk, before adopting a serious tone again, "I'm glad I was able to help Neville, and I meant what I said about helping the others, after classes if they're up for it I can even go to them if it's easier, just come find me."

"I'm sure they'll think I'm pulling their leg when I mention it, but I'll show them my bandaged chest and they'll know I'm being sincere," Neville said with a smile, "you're alright Parkinson, almost feel bad for all the times I spoke ill about you- _almos_ t."

He smirked and Pansy laughed as he walked through the entrance. Theo had just come barrelling down the stairs with both their bags when Draco entered the common room.

"The fuck was Longbottom doing leaving the Slytherin dorms?" he asked in complete dismay.

"We passed him in the halls earlier and he was in rough shape, Pansy saw it as a great opportunity to play healer for the morning," Theo explained, "she did a right fine job too, a pure talent this one is."

She blushed and he walked over and handed her bag over to her.

"You won't be needing those today," Draco said, gesturing to their bags, "you might want to take a seat, a lot of shit went down at the Manor this weekend and I need you to bring you up to date. Where's Zabini and the Greengrasses?"

Pansy's smile left her face and she swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. In the hour she had spent healing Neville she had almost forgotten about what Draco had set off to do. She could tell by his grim demeanor that whatever he had to tell them would only be another problem for them to face.

With a sigh and a heaviness in her chest, she set to the stairs to see if Daphne and Astoria were in their dorms. Theo and Draco followed behind heading off in the direction of the boys dormitories for Blaise.


	3. Chapter 3

17 January 1985

A five-year old Pansy was playing in her toy-room with her new doll. She was particularly captivated in crafting her very own doll-sized dress as she was convinced that the lace lined silk handkerchief she had ‘borrowed’ from her mother’s vanity would make a far more superior gown for her doll than the one it had come with. 

She had wrapped the fabric around the doll and was just folding in the edges to secure it in place, when a strong pair of arms came up under her elbows and pulled her swiftly into the air. Pansy let out a loud spurt of giggles as she was flipped around into her father’s embrace.

“Now what’s this?” he mused, picking up the doll from where she had dropped it, “I should have you design your mothers’ robes, she’d surely be the best dressed witch in all of Britain.” 

Pansy giggled and shook her head, “I cahn’t use magic yet! But when I cahn I’m gonna make mummy the bestest dresses... and fo’ you too!”

Her father grinned and plopped down onto the nearby arm-chair, with Pansy in his lap. He picked up a book off the side table that he had been reading to her each night. The Sacred-28 and the Indisputable Precedence of Blood-Purity. 

It was never too early, he thought, to start instilling the proper values into his daughter. Afterall, she would be inheriting the Parkinson legacy as she was the only child he and his wife would ever have. The physicians had warned that it was far too risky for Rose to attempt to carry another child; she almost didn’t survive her pregnancy with Pansy, and the stress of the birth left her magic weakened and unstable.

Rose often suffered from severe migraines and even the slightest disturbance could send her into bouts of involuntary magical outbursts. As a result, Cassius found himself with the responsibility of making sure that Pansy received the proper care and attention that any other pureblood child would normally receive from their mother. He hired all the best tutors in etiquette and propriety to make sure she would be nothing but the epitome of a well-mannered pure-blood. 

The voice of his daughter beckoning him to start the chapter broke Cassius out of his reverie. He looked down at the book and began reading:

“Many members of the Sacred-28 were recruited by the Dark Lord when he rose to power in the early 1970’s. To this day, even though the Dark Lord is believed dead by the wizarding-world, as confirmed by the Ministry of Magic, his followers are of an altogether different impression. The Dark Mark that was branded by the Dark Lord onto his most trusted followers is said to be tethered by blood-magic. As the Dark Mark never vanished, his followers believe that the Dark Lord will return once more to raise the wizarding world out of the shadows and bring down the reign of the foul muggle-kind. ” 

Beneath the excerpt there was a photo of the Dark Mark that had caught Pansy’s attention.

“I want it,” Pansy expressed, with a gleam in her eyes, “It means we are stwahng and we can stahp the bad muggwles!”

“You want to know a secret,” Cassius asked with a smile.

Pansy nodded her head up and down vigorously in agreement.

Cassius moved the book back over to the side table and removed his arm around Pansy’s shoulders to start undoing the cufflinks on his left sleeve. He rolled up his robes and revealed the serpent and skull of the Dark Mark for his daughter to see.

Pansy let out a gasp, “Can I touch it?” she asked her voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded and she reached out with hesitant hands to brush the raised lines of the mark.

“Will I get one too?” she asked, her eyes round with wonder.

“If you’re a good and obedient daughter, and you listen to everything I teach you, I’ll make sure to let the Dark Lord know when he returns and you can join his cause and fight for justice for our world just like I did.”

Pansy gave him a huge smile and wrapped her arms around her father in a tight hug. She wanted nothing more than to make her father happy. She wanted to be just like him. He wanted to save the wizarding world from the horrible muggles that kept them in hiding and didn’t let them use magic in so many places. She knew that when the Dark Lord returned she would be ready to join the fight for justice and make her father proud. 

* * *

Monday, 6 April 1998

The common room had far too much traffic at this time in the day, with people coming in and out from classes, so they sat in the boys’ dorm room while Draco told them what he had learned on his weekend visit home.

Draco informed them that his father was going to owl for him to come home for an urgent meeting if he hadn’t gone home for an unexpected visit. 

“Voldemort is growing impatient with the progress of the war,” Draco told them, running a hand through his hair, and taking a deep breath before continuing, “he wants every pureblood heir of age to be marked by the end of the month.”

The room took on the kind of silence that gave one no option but to listen to the sound of their own pulse thrumming in their chest. Everyone seemed to have stopped breathing. 

Theo squeezed Pansy’s hand when it went stiff in his grip. She looked at him and his hazel eyes were wide with shock and his face twisted in an expression of concern. She was certain her face mirrored his. 

“He has modified the spell for his dark mark, and tasked the scientists at the potions laboratory he overtook to create a potion that, when taken by the initiate after they are branded, will tether the person’s desires with that of their master. They will do only what he wants them to do. They will have no control, no say in what they do or who they kill. They will be mindless soldiers that will carry out his every order without doubt or hesitation.”

Draco fisted his hands at his sides and turned away from them.

“He says he will not force the potion on the pureblood heirs unless he has reason to doubt their loyalties. The other death eaters would see this as a sign of distrust and he wants to promote unity within his followers. The potion is strictly to be used on surviving members of the order that would prove useful to his army, as he knows they will not willingly join his side.

He is still testing this new mark, that is what he will brand you with, so that he will have the option to administer the potion if you ever betray his trust or show signs of disloyalty. It could be sooner than the end of the month. As soon as the mark is perfected he won’t wait to begin adding numbers to his forces.”

Pansy felt sick to her stomach. This was happening too soon. Less than a month? They had less than a month to find a way to send word to the order and, if they even allowed it, join their efforts to put a stop to this madness. If he succeeded, if he turned every captured order member into a mindless soldier in his army, he would be unstoppable. Eventually there would be no one to fight against him. He would destroy everything that was good in the world.

“How do we stop this?” Theo asked, breaking the prolonged period of silence, his voice barely above a whisper, “ Can we even stop this?”

Everyone looked to Draco, who had the most answers out of all of them. He was already marked, for him there was no escape, not unless Voldemort was dead. He couldn’t run, he would be tracked by his mark and hunted down quickly. No one had ever been able to find a way around the dark mark. He knew better than anyone what being branded meant. It was a life sentence. 

Draco shook his head before offering a response.

“I don’t know,” he breathed.

And he didn’t know. For the first time he didn’t have all the answers. How could they possibly prevent being marked? The likelihood of the war ending in the coming weeks was impossible to conceive. The Order was in hiding, Harry Potter hadn’t been seen or heard from in months, and at every meeting Voldemort crooned about their inevitable victory. 

“What I do know,” Draco continued, “Is I need to come up with a way to get Luna out. He wants her to be the first one to try the potion once it’s finalized and I can’t let that happen. It will be difficult. I promised her I would protect her, but if she escapes and if there is any question of my family’s involvement…”

“You don’t have to say it,” Pansy said, standing from the bed and walking to his side.

She gave him a hug. He relaxed into her embrace. He was so stressed, and she didn’t blame him. He was playing both sides and she knew he didn’t care for his own life even if he would never admit it. It was his mother he was worried about. But she wouldn’t allow any harm to come to his mother or to Draco. They would find a way to safely remove Luna from their custody without raising suspicion. There had to be a way. There must be.

“We will help you, Draco,” She said, pulling back and rubbing her hands on his shoulders, “you’re not alone in this. We will find a way to get her out without raising any suspicion on your family.” 

Draco started to argue with her, saying he would not put anyone else at risk for him, but Pansy wasn’t having it and the others agreed they would do whatever it takes to get Luna out, and then they would find a way out too.

“We have to leave,” Daphne said, “if the Order won’t let us join them, we have to leave. We need to get out of the U.K, go to America or anywhere outside of Europe. We can’t stay here, no matter where we go we will never be safe if he wins.”

“And what do you suppose will happen to our parents if we leave?” Astoria demanded, “you don’t honestly believe they will come with us willingly, and they will surely be punished for our betrayal.”

“Do you think they deserve our concern?” Daphne glowered, “they are the reason we are tangled up in this in the first place. They want us to be death eaters Astoria. Father is as dead to me as mother is.”

Pansy shivered. Daphne and Astoria’s mother had died when they were in their fourth year. She had helped them mourn, having lost her own mother when she was far younger, she knew what it was like to grieve a parent. 

“Daph is right, to hell with our parents. They aren’t looking out for us. They’re lost. There is no saving them. They don’t even think they need to be saved,” Blaise affirmed.

Pansy looked around the room at her friends and realized that aside from Draco, none of them had a loving relationship with their parents. Theo’s mother had died in childbirth, and his father had always resented him for it. Blaise’s father drank himself to death when he was a toddler and that left his mother, who had never been a mother to him. Always leaving for trips with her latest husband and carting him off to numerous nannies. Daphne and Astoria’s father wanted only one thing from his daughters before Voldemort had returned. He expected them to marry purebloods and fulfill their duty to keep the line pure. And now that the Dark Lord was back, he expected nothing less of them but to join the death eaters and maintain their family honor. And her own father…

She had always clung to her father. Even when her mother was alive, her illness had hardly left her in any state to pay any attention to her daughter. Pansy would stay away for fear of invoking another one of her outbursts. 

She had thought her father loved her, and maybe in his own deranged way he did. But he had instilled such hatred in her. She was raised to believe that mudbloods and muggles were evil. That they were destroying the wizarding world. And for a long time, far too long, she had believed him. Hell she had even idolized the dark mark and wanted it for herself. She’d have done anything to make her father proud. 

How could she not trust the only person who was always there for her to guide her down the right path?

But he hadn’t been the only person. She’d had her grandmother. After her mother had passed when Pansy was eight, her grandmother had become an active participant in her life. She had spent nearly every summer at her cottage hidden away in the French countryside. Her grandmother was a kind woman, she didn’t share the values that her father shared, and she had disapproved of her mother marrying her father. When her mother passed she could not allow Pansy to be raised under the teachings of her father, so she took it upon herself to show Pansy the right way to see the world. 

Her grandmother had always looked out for her. Even after she too passed away, she had sent a house elf to deliver a letter to Pansy that told her the cottage, along with all her grandmother’s assets, had been left for her. She had instructed Pansy to burn the letter after reading it, she hadn’t wanted Cassius to find out, and he never had…

It was three years now since her grandmother’s passing and Pansy had all but forgotten. How had she not remembered sooner?

Her grandmother had told Pansy in the letter that she was made secret keeper of the estate. She hadn’t known what that meant when she read it but after researching in the library she learned it meant that only she would be able to access the cottage. Even if someone knew its location, they couldn’t find it. Not without her revealing it to them herself.

This was an out for them, she realized. Her grandmother was so damned smart. She must have known a day would come when Pansy may need to seek refuge and she had offered it to her on a silver platter. Her eyes watered at the revelation, and a smile broke out on her face.

If the order wouldn’t have them, if Voldemort found a way to win this war, she could save her friends. She could protect them.

“The hell you have to be smiling about?” Theo asked, looking at her with utter confusion.

“I know how to save us from the mark. All of us.” She boomed, “If we don’t find a way to end the war before we have to be marked, if the Order doesn’t win this war, I have a place where no one will ever be able to find us. A place only I have access to, not even my father knows about it.”

Everyone gaped at her. 

Theo laughed. Loudly. A lopsided grin spreading across his face. He stood up and scooped her up in his arms, lifted her off the ground and spun her around placing a sweet kiss on her lips.

“You’re incredible,” he breathed, as he brought her back down to the ground, his forehead resting against hers, “you’re absolutely incredible.”

Pansy smiled up at him, cupped his face in her hands and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. 

“Well enough of the snogging,” Blaise moaned, “get over here and tell us about this marvelous solution to our existential crises you’ve only just realized you have.”

Pansy rolled her eyes and threw him a glare, but she did just that. She told them about her grandmother’s will, about being the secret keeper, and the logistics that would ensure their protection at the cottage. And when she had finished, for the first time in a long time, the ever-present look of worry vanished from her friend’s faces. 

But she had to remind them that this was only to be a fail-safe. They needed to save Luna, and put forth their best efforts at gaining favor with the order. If they had any chance of preventing Voldemort’s victory, they had to take it. The status of everything they knew hung on the outcome of this war.


End file.
